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Monday, 10 November 2008
Sunday, 9 November 2008
flowering....
Remember Stephanie's post about her flowering violet? Well I have my own little tale.
In August this year we had our ladies tea and I was presented with a stunning rose in a pot. Well it's been living in my kitchen and off and on I'll water it... until I discovered that Keith was watering it too so I decided best I stop all it'll drown.
So now in the few months that we've had it, the one rose that was on it, died and shrivelled. It got another bud which I don't this went anywhere and also got a few new leaves and a few which died. Well last week I saw a new bud and tracked it's progress. It opened, bloomed and did it's thing... see with perseverence anything is possible!
In August this year we had our ladies tea and I was presented with a stunning rose in a pot. Well it's been living in my kitchen and off and on I'll water it... until I discovered that Keith was watering it too so I decided best I stop all it'll drown.
So now in the few months that we've had it, the one rose that was on it, died and shrivelled. It got another bud which I don't this went anywhere and also got a few new leaves and a few which died. Well last week I saw a new bud and tracked it's progress. It opened, bloomed and did it's thing... see with perseverence anything is possible!
And then, with being away for the weekend... it shrivelled and died.... hehehe (the flower not the whole bush!). Will tenderly nurse the bush again and hope that it hasn't died altogether.
ScrapPink Report back
The event has now come and gone. From my side it was a huge success... from the organiser's point of view.... well you'll have to wait and read about it on their blog... hehehe... but on the whole I think the day went down well... all the scrappers enjoyed it and everyone was happy. But for more details, here's how it unfolded for me.....
WEDNESDAY
I arrived at Scraptifity around 6:30pm to help pack stuff.... we only worked for about an hour packing embroidery thread as that was all there was to do. Others had been helping during the day and had started putting the kits together.
THURSDAY
I fetched Aaron from school and we went straight through to the shop to pack stuff. We packed one lot of papers and then sat around for about 2 hours waiting for stuff to arrive. Zander (Retha's hubby) was meant to fetch us bags to pack goodies into from the other side of Pretoria, but due to a major traffic accident in the morning that had closed the highway for the whole day, he never got there. He did arrived with some stuff so we packed that quickly and then we were done for the rest of the day. Theresa had also come to the shop by then but due to there being nothing to do we went out for dinner and a good chin-wag!
FRIDAY
As I knew there was stacks still to be packed and the shipment of stock was due to arrive in the morning, I took the day off work and went to the shop to help pack. Arrived and we packed the papers into bags and then packed the bags into the kit bags.
Met Melody and Christy who stopped by the shop quickly as well. By now it was nearly 10:30 and still the shipment hadn't arrive. Lots of phoning backwards and forwards and eventually the truck arrived at 11 with only one guy to unload!! Well we all pitched in and carried boxes through a slight drizzle into the shop where they all had to be opened to find the stock that had to be packed... madness and chaos reigned for a while. We got sorted and packed and then the Canon guys came to fetch the bags just on 12. Talk about finishing by the skin of your teeth! hehehe.
I left the shop with them all making plans for packing up all the stock to take through to Midrand. I fetched Aaron from school at 1:15pm and we drove through to Boksburg where we were staying with my folks for the weekend (Keith has gone to Mabalingwe with a friend till Monday).
SATURDAY
Started way toooooooooo early.... cats woke me up at 3:10 and then I slept erractically till around 4:40 when I got up, bathed and dressed and was making coffee when Aaron paddled through to the kitchen at 5:15. That also go the whole household up. I got ready to leave and in the process of saying goodbye, ended up catching Aaron's fingers in the door of my car... ouch ouch ouch... boy did I feel bad leaving my crying son behind. (he was fine within a few minutes!).
The whole reason for this early rising was that the volunteers were asked to please be at Vodaworld at 6am. I was the first to arrive around 10 to 6 and the Vodaworld guy even had to open up for me. All the others arrived within a few minutes. We carted more kit bags in and added them to those that were already delivered. Got our aprons, were allocated out places of work (which ended up changing!) and then found some muffins and coffee for breakfast.
By 9am the paying guests (Scrappers) were seated and the day got off to a good start. I was asked to please help a table of invited guests.... people who knew NOTHING about scrapbooking and were just here as part of the sponsors. Boy did I have my work cut out for me. Theresa also ended up at a table of complete newbies so the two of us worked and worked and helped and advised and overall... had a ball!! Our biggest moan of the day was that most of the volunteers disappeared after lunch and we ended up being the only ones working.
At the end of the day my ladies did themselves proud. Most of them managed to keep up and do the pages that were made... some even did their own thing... which is what scrapbooking is all about! True to form there was way too much to do and we never finished but the people can get the notes so we will be able to do the whole project at our leisure later. What is the project I hear you ask... well it was an 8x12 album with various size pockets... and done with the theme "This is Me"... could be fairly interesting.
And so once all the ladies had left (and most of the volunteers too mind you!), Theresa and I cleaned up our tables, made our way to the shop to pay for our goodies... more to come on that.... and then helped pack up the shop. I tell you, even Melody, Christy and their husbands helped to pack stock.... so WHERE were the volunteers who had signed up for this????? Okay enough of that, I'll get off my soapbox... hehe.
The day was great. For me I got to meet Melody Ross and Christy Thomlinson and have an absolute ball. Congrats to Retha for organising everything and you must all enjoy your trip to the Kruger Park.
Christy, Me, Melody & Theresa
Retha, Natasja Jacobs (MC for the day) & Me
So now on to what I bought.... I had not planned to buy anything... but you should know.... let a scrapper loose in a scrapshop with a credit card and something is bound to be bought... and most definately if there is a sale on! hehe.
So I got some gorgeous paper & stickers,
a whole pad of paper at a fantasic price
and then.... an early "happy birthday to Cathy from Cathy".... I bought myself TWO Cathy Zielske books... Clean & Simple Scrapbooking and The sequel. Just love this lady and they way she scraps... another Stacy Julian (okay so they also work together!!)
And then it was all over. I got back to Boksburg at 7:30pm, had supper and talked and talked to my folks all about the day. Went to bed exhausted at 9:30.
SUNDAY dawned. Again tooooooooooooo early. Aaron crawled into my bed at 5:15 for a cuddle but I kicked him out when he started sniffing too much. He got up and dressed around 5:30 and tried Poppa & Granny's bed before eventually getting Poppa up just on 6am to play trains. I woke around 7:30. It was then breakfast, bath and dress before we all left for church.
On the way home from church, we stopped at Boksburg East Station (boy do they need to weed the platform there!) and had a look at the Songololo Express Train that was parked there. A fairly old train by the looks of it... lots of wood in the coaches. Such a fun time... unfortunately the camera was at home so no pics.
Got home, read my book. My Aunt arrived and we had lunch then packed up and came all the way home. Aaron had a nap in the car and I left him to sleep in the car parked in the garage while I paked away our goodies and put on a load of washing... if I don't do the washing now he won't have any school clothes for tomorrow!
Also noticed that we have some new flowers in our garden.... some beautiful purple agapanthus a red daisy and yellow arum lillies. Nice to see God's creation.
So on to the next event... see you there I hope.
WEDNESDAY
I arrived at Scraptifity around 6:30pm to help pack stuff.... we only worked for about an hour packing embroidery thread as that was all there was to do. Others had been helping during the day and had started putting the kits together.
THURSDAY
I fetched Aaron from school and we went straight through to the shop to pack stuff. We packed one lot of papers and then sat around for about 2 hours waiting for stuff to arrive. Zander (Retha's hubby) was meant to fetch us bags to pack goodies into from the other side of Pretoria, but due to a major traffic accident in the morning that had closed the highway for the whole day, he never got there. He did arrived with some stuff so we packed that quickly and then we were done for the rest of the day. Theresa had also come to the shop by then but due to there being nothing to do we went out for dinner and a good chin-wag!
FRIDAY
As I knew there was stacks still to be packed and the shipment of stock was due to arrive in the morning, I took the day off work and went to the shop to help pack. Arrived and we packed the papers into bags and then packed the bags into the kit bags.
Met Melody and Christy who stopped by the shop quickly as well. By now it was nearly 10:30 and still the shipment hadn't arrive. Lots of phoning backwards and forwards and eventually the truck arrived at 11 with only one guy to unload!! Well we all pitched in and carried boxes through a slight drizzle into the shop where they all had to be opened to find the stock that had to be packed... madness and chaos reigned for a while. We got sorted and packed and then the Canon guys came to fetch the bags just on 12. Talk about finishing by the skin of your teeth! hehehe.
I left the shop with them all making plans for packing up all the stock to take through to Midrand. I fetched Aaron from school at 1:15pm and we drove through to Boksburg where we were staying with my folks for the weekend (Keith has gone to Mabalingwe with a friend till Monday).
SATURDAY
Started way toooooooooo early.... cats woke me up at 3:10 and then I slept erractically till around 4:40 when I got up, bathed and dressed and was making coffee when Aaron paddled through to the kitchen at 5:15. That also go the whole household up. I got ready to leave and in the process of saying goodbye, ended up catching Aaron's fingers in the door of my car... ouch ouch ouch... boy did I feel bad leaving my crying son behind. (he was fine within a few minutes!).
The whole reason for this early rising was that the volunteers were asked to please be at Vodaworld at 6am. I was the first to arrive around 10 to 6 and the Vodaworld guy even had to open up for me. All the others arrived within a few minutes. We carted more kit bags in and added them to those that were already delivered. Got our aprons, were allocated out places of work (which ended up changing!) and then found some muffins and coffee for breakfast.
By 9am the paying guests (Scrappers) were seated and the day got off to a good start. I was asked to please help a table of invited guests.... people who knew NOTHING about scrapbooking and were just here as part of the sponsors. Boy did I have my work cut out for me. Theresa also ended up at a table of complete newbies so the two of us worked and worked and helped and advised and overall... had a ball!! Our biggest moan of the day was that most of the volunteers disappeared after lunch and we ended up being the only ones working.
At the end of the day my ladies did themselves proud. Most of them managed to keep up and do the pages that were made... some even did their own thing... which is what scrapbooking is all about! True to form there was way too much to do and we never finished but the people can get the notes so we will be able to do the whole project at our leisure later. What is the project I hear you ask... well it was an 8x12 album with various size pockets... and done with the theme "This is Me"... could be fairly interesting.
And so once all the ladies had left (and most of the volunteers too mind you!), Theresa and I cleaned up our tables, made our way to the shop to pay for our goodies... more to come on that.... and then helped pack up the shop. I tell you, even Melody, Christy and their husbands helped to pack stock.... so WHERE were the volunteers who had signed up for this????? Okay enough of that, I'll get off my soapbox... hehe.
The day was great. For me I got to meet Melody Ross and Christy Thomlinson and have an absolute ball. Congrats to Retha for organising everything and you must all enjoy your trip to the Kruger Park.
Christy, Me, Melody & Theresa
Retha, Natasja Jacobs (MC for the day) & MeSo now on to what I bought.... I had not planned to buy anything... but you should know.... let a scrapper loose in a scrapshop with a credit card and something is bound to be bought... and most definately if there is a sale on! hehe.
So I got some gorgeous paper & stickers,
a whole pad of paper at a fantasic price
and then.... an early "happy birthday to Cathy from Cathy".... I bought myself TWO Cathy Zielske books... Clean & Simple Scrapbooking and The sequel. Just love this lady and they way she scraps... another Stacy Julian (okay so they also work together!!)
And then it was all over. I got back to Boksburg at 7:30pm, had supper and talked and talked to my folks all about the day. Went to bed exhausted at 9:30.
SUNDAY dawned. Again tooooooooooooo early. Aaron crawled into my bed at 5:15 for a cuddle but I kicked him out when he started sniffing too much. He got up and dressed around 5:30 and tried Poppa & Granny's bed before eventually getting Poppa up just on 6am to play trains. I woke around 7:30. It was then breakfast, bath and dress before we all left for church.
On the way home from church, we stopped at Boksburg East Station (boy do they need to weed the platform there!) and had a look at the Songololo Express Train that was parked there. A fairly old train by the looks of it... lots of wood in the coaches. Such a fun time... unfortunately the camera was at home so no pics.
Got home, read my book. My Aunt arrived and we had lunch then packed up and came all the way home. Aaron had a nap in the car and I left him to sleep in the car parked in the garage while I paked away our goodies and put on a load of washing... if I don't do the washing now he won't have any school clothes for tomorrow!
Also noticed that we have some new flowers in our garden.... some beautiful purple agapanthus a red daisy and yellow arum lillies. Nice to see God's creation.
So on to the next event... see you there I hope.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Want to swop???
Jacqui is hosting a Christmas Swop... check out her blog, sign up and let's have some fun together.
Another book.. or more
Just got my ScrapScene update and found they are giving away a book.. well of course I entered to win it, but in case I don't I'm going to add it to my wishlist.
Death Swatch: A Scrapbooking Mystery (Scrapbooking Mysteries) ISBN-10: 0425224783
And while at Amazon I did a browse on this author (Laura Childs) and found some more....
Death Swatch: A Scrapbooking Mystery (Scrapbooking Mysteries) ISBN-10: 0425224783
And while at Amazon I did a browse on this author (Laura Childs) and found some more....Frill Kill ISBN-10: 0425217302
Bound for Murder ISBN-10: 0425199231
Keepsake Crimes ISBN-10: 0425190749
Motif for Murder ISBN-10: 0425217981
Photo Finished ISBN-10: 0425194345
Death By Design ISBN-10: 0425210006
So now there are a whole bunch more books to add to my already long wish list.. I best start saving! hehe
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
It's gone
I had my haircut yesterday afternoon... my summer cut... OFF! yip nice and short and breezy... and sooooooooooooooooo much lighter and less fuss.
And guess what?? hehehe after a scorching few days we're in for a much cooler week ahead... talk about timing... I think it happens everytime I get my haircut! hehehe.
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
This week's challenge list
Another week has come and gone and I'm sad to say I have not been good at doing my list of things... so reckon most of them will be here for another week :(
1 Shop locally... Went shopping yesterday and from the stuff I bought there were definately "non-local" products... is that bad?? I bought yummy kiwis and as far as I know they are definately NOT grown in SA... but as I really really like them I just have to buy them when the price is right... okay so they were a tad expensive but Aaron's reasoning was that there were three in the packet so it's "one for Mommy, one for Daddy and one for Aaron... a good deal."
2 Turn off unnecessary lights... this will definately be on the list indefinately!! I woke up at three this morning to find the lights on again!!! Not winning on this one.
3 Have more meals together... getting there slowly. Definately worked over the weekend but during the week it doesn't seem to be a priority to certain members of our household who only get home late!
4 Stick to the speed limit... goes without saying as it is the law of the country. BUT my problem at the moment is that they've reduced the speedlimit to 80 on the highway due to the construction works and that feels awfully s-l-o-w when everyone passes you. So I will admit that I have now been driving at around 90 or 100.... okay so it's still within the normal limit of 120 but it is over the current limit so I have been naughty.... will try better in the week ahead.
5 Fit at least one energy-saving light bulb... must still buy these so that I can do this. Our diningroom light needs to be replaced so this would be the perfect place to start.
Not adding any more things to do this week as I think I should pay more attention to these ones rather than getting ahead of myself. So here's hoping for a better week.
1 Shop locally... Went shopping yesterday and from the stuff I bought there were definately "non-local" products... is that bad?? I bought yummy kiwis and as far as I know they are definately NOT grown in SA... but as I really really like them I just have to buy them when the price is right... okay so they were a tad expensive but Aaron's reasoning was that there were three in the packet so it's "one for Mommy, one for Daddy and one for Aaron... a good deal."
2 Turn off unnecessary lights... this will definately be on the list indefinately!! I woke up at three this morning to find the lights on again!!! Not winning on this one.
3 Have more meals together... getting there slowly. Definately worked over the weekend but during the week it doesn't seem to be a priority to certain members of our household who only get home late!
4 Stick to the speed limit... goes without saying as it is the law of the country. BUT my problem at the moment is that they've reduced the speedlimit to 80 on the highway due to the construction works and that feels awfully s-l-o-w when everyone passes you. So I will admit that I have now been driving at around 90 or 100.... okay so it's still within the normal limit of 120 but it is over the current limit so I have been naughty.... will try better in the week ahead.
5 Fit at least one energy-saving light bulb... must still buy these so that I can do this. Our diningroom light needs to be replaced so this would be the perfect place to start.
Not adding any more things to do this week as I think I should pay more attention to these ones rather than getting ahead of myself. So here's hoping for a better week.
Tuesday morning
hehehehe guess what... I left my book at home again... bummer! So am sitting here typing up my blog entries for something to do... gets me up to date if nothing else.
So yesterday afternoon Aaron had another swimming lesson. Boy but he is coming along nicely. He climbed in before Meg even and was very keen to start swimming. Kicked off with the board and away he went across half the pool. Jumping in and touching the bottom even seemed to be okay. He has definately come a long way since the beginning of the school yeaar when he wouldn't climb in the pool at all.
Went shopping afterwards and once home just collapsed in the chair.... it was miles too hot to do anything (ie ironing!). I did make an appointment to have my haircut so that will all be coming off today!
Last night we joined one of the bible study groups at our church for a very interesting presentation by Birnie and Pat Bitter from Northcliff Union Church. They were part of a missionery team that went to China during the Olympics. It was amazing to see all the places they went and the people they met. The team went as part of a sports group as missioneries are not openingly allowed in China. They did meet some Christians there as well as attend a goverment sanctioned church service. There were 1600 people at the morning service and then around 200 foreigners at the international one in the afternoon.... you have to show your passport to attend the international service so no locals are allowed in. And then there is also propaganda displayed periodically on the screens saying that you are not allowed to say anything bad about the government as they are watching you!
The team also spent quite a bit of time in Dandong which is by the border with North Korea... literally one step away. There is a small river separating the two countries but they are worlds apart.
Please pray for the Christians in China. They do lots of good work with the ophans and abandoned and disabled children, as well as trying to unite families from North Korea who do miraculously make it out. And Christians are not just the "man in the street" but there are also high powered people who know God.
Okay, off to work now so will chat later again.
So yesterday afternoon Aaron had another swimming lesson. Boy but he is coming along nicely. He climbed in before Meg even and was very keen to start swimming. Kicked off with the board and away he went across half the pool. Jumping in and touching the bottom even seemed to be okay. He has definately come a long way since the beginning of the school yeaar when he wouldn't climb in the pool at all.
Went shopping afterwards and once home just collapsed in the chair.... it was miles too hot to do anything (ie ironing!). I did make an appointment to have my haircut so that will all be coming off today!Last night we joined one of the bible study groups at our church for a very interesting presentation by Birnie and Pat Bitter from Northcliff Union Church. They were part of a missionery team that went to China during the Olympics. It was amazing to see all the places they went and the people they met. The team went as part of a sports group as missioneries are not openingly allowed in China. They did meet some Christians there as well as attend a goverment sanctioned church service. There were 1600 people at the morning service and then around 200 foreigners at the international one in the afternoon.... you have to show your passport to attend the international service so no locals are allowed in. And then there is also propaganda displayed periodically on the screens saying that you are not allowed to say anything bad about the government as they are watching you!
The team also spent quite a bit of time in Dandong which is by the border with North Korea... literally one step away. There is a small river separating the two countries but they are worlds apart.
Please pray for the Christians in China. They do lots of good work with the ophans and abandoned and disabled children, as well as trying to unite families from North Korea who do miraculously make it out. And Christians are not just the "man in the street" but there are also high powered people who know God.
Okay, off to work now so will chat later again.
Monday, 3 November 2008
The weekend that was....
busy
fun
exciting
and relaxing
It has come and gone and was a great FAMILY weekend.... I really feel good today about this past weekend and here's how things panned out.
FRIDAY
We had a hail storm just after arriving home from school... it looked like it had snowed in our garden!
Well it was all over within 5 minutes and the sun came out again so we got packed up for the camp out and off we went.
Aaron and I arrived at school just on 4pm and browsed around to see what's what. Eventually met up with some friends who were in the process of pitching their tents so we booked our space right next to them and waited and waited for the Daddy to arrive with our tent. He eventually did and so with the help of some qualified campers (and muscle power) our tent got pitched. Here's a pic to prove that we were actually there!
fun
exciting
and relaxing
It has come and gone and was a great FAMILY weekend.... I really feel good today about this past weekend and here's how things panned out.
FRIDAY
We had a hail storm just after arriving home from school... it looked like it had snowed in our garden!
Well it was all over within 5 minutes and the sun came out again so we got packed up for the camp out and off we went.
Aaron and I arrived at school just on 4pm and browsed around to see what's what. Eventually met up with some friends who were in the process of pitching their tents so we booked our space right next to them and waited and waited for the Daddy to arrive with our tent. He eventually did and so with the help of some qualified campers (and muscle power) our tent got pitched. Here's a pic to prove that we were actually there!
The kids had a ball. Running around chasing each other, kicking soccer balls, riding bikes, blowing up balloons with the pump used to blow up the mattresses, doing the obstable course Aaron did it once but I never got pics :( )
The fires got lit and so we braaied and after supper the kids did stalk the lantern... very disorganised and lots of mutters and moans! Then it was time for the camp fire, hot chocolate and braaied marshmellows... yum.
Aaron fell alseep in my arms are the camp fire and so I just carried him off to bed and then hit the sack myself. Figured it was late (but discoved on Monday that is was actually only around 9:30!)
SATURDAY
The morning started WAY too early. Some idiot across the road from the school was hooting outside his gate to be let in... woke all of us sleeping in our tents and caravans. Found out it was about 4:45!!! Well we surfaced, found some hot water that our caravan neighbour had boiled and so had some refreshing coffee and I had bought some cappucino muffins so that was breakfast... I think BEFORE 6am!!
Lots of kids were up and playing cricket and then people started making moves of packing up. We were under strict instructions to vacate the school by 8am. Our tent was still fairly damp from the dew, but we managed to pack up and were out of there by 7:45.
Got home, hung the tent over the washline to dry out and unpacked all the goodies. Then folded up the tent. Just after 10:30 Aaron and I collapsed on our bed and had a good 2 hour sleep. Felt soooooooooooooooo much more refreshed after that.
We then made our way the The Hole In One for a family day that Keith had booked us for. Aaron and I had a swim, we all had something to drink, listened a bit to the singer (Kurt Darren?) and then left. Why? Well by then it was 2:30 and the LUNCH braais had not even been lit yet... I ask you!
So being rather hungry we left and went to PnP to get food and off home again. Spent the afternoon just being at home and not doing much. I went down to the chuch for 15 minutes just to hang my newest banner, and also attempted to bake some biscuits. Keith braaied for us for supper instead.
SUNDAY
After a much better night sleep we were still up pretty early. Aaron woke me around 6:15 asking when he could come crawl in by me... but instead I just crawelled in by him! He also took the side boards off his bed and declared that he didn't need them anymore as he was a big boy! I then had to please read to him bible stories so we had a pleasant 45 minutes or so.
Got up at 7 and decided I had better bake a cake... I had been asked to take eats for after chuch and then ones I had made on Saturday afternoon didn't turn out so lekker. So I did my quick and easy microwave chocolate cake. While doing this Aaron decided to build his world puzzle.. but halfway through Mommy also had to help!
Keith cooked us a yummy breakfast on the skottle too.
Then it was time to bath, get dressed and off to church. It was the first service by our new minister, Rev Brian Colmer. We are very happy to have him... will give us some grounding now after not having had a minister for 18 months. The first service (at 8am) had run late so the second service didn't start till around 9:45 and we also came out late and then stayed for tea... and the yummy eats. Only got back home at 12!
Well I spent the rest of my day doing load after load of washing and reading my latest book. A nice relaxed time. Keith was in and out... getting dvds, going to the pub or shop. Aaron played a bit, got thoroughly bored and then did some karoake and finally got to watch a dvd that Keith had hired... Donkey Oxte...not highly recommened!
I just made a simple supper and the boys ended up in bed by 8. I tried to watch the second dvd Keith had got... another disaster of a movie choice... so switched it off and read my book. Went to bed at 9:30.
MONDAY
Got up at our usual uneartly hour of 5:30. Aaron announced that he didn't fall off the bed. Had our normal morning routine and left home at 10 to 7. Got stuck in traffic... and that's been the story of the rest of this morning.
Phew... eventually got it all typed up... now off to upload the photos and then to post this.
Hope you've enjoyed reading my natter. Sorry for boring you if you didn't. Till the next episode... cheers.
A new look at the bible...
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.
Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbour's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:
Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.
He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.
Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbour's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:
Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.
He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
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